SOPHIE SOSEFINA IAMALEVA
born may 11, 2012 at 1:02 pm
4lbs. 8 oz. 18 inches
the daughter i've always dreamed of arrived by emergency c-section, 4 1/2 weeks before her due date. she was small but perfect in every way. thankfully, she didn't have to go the NICU and didn't need help with breathing or eating. that's my girl! strong, healthy and on her own schedule. her birth story is definitely a story to tell, so i will.
i was 35 1/2 weeks and going to one of my 2x week monitoring appointments. back story...at about 28 weeks, i wasn't gaining much weight and my belly was measuring small every week. i went for an ultrasound and got bad news that she was measuring small. no real reason why but it happens and there's nothing i did wrong or can do to change it. he didn't know who he was talking to. i went home, had a good cry with matt, quit working out the next day and starting eating everything in sight, all while doing major research on why this might be happening and what i could do to help her grow (again, nothing). 4 weeks later i was back to check on her and miraculously, she was measuring right on track. the doctor gave me the choice to still continue the monitoring and of course i chose to do it. so on may 10th i had a routine appointment before work. after he checked me, i was standing at the desk to make my next appointment when i felt like i wet my pants. well, skip to the fun part...my water completely broke in the doctor's office. everyone was in shock, especially me. the dr. told me to drive straight to the hospital and have matt meet me there. "are you sure i can't go home first and oh, i don't know, change, pack a bag, figure out daycare for jake???!!" no, he said...go straight there. So in type a fashion, i drove home, talking screaming on the phone to matt the whole way there all while my water was still breaking.
my mom and mita met me at home and matt was ready panicking as soon as i pulled up. we passed jake off to mita as i was uncontrollably sobbing about leaving him and feeling i didn't prepare him enough for what was happening (again, type a) and jumped in the car with my mom and headed to the hospital. btw...at the signal on cherry and del amo is where we decided her name. i know, so special, but hey we thought we had 5 more weeks. jake wasn't named until 2 weeks before his birth...we wanted it to be equal.
we check in at the hospital and i've just soaked the 3rd pair of sweats. fast forward a bit and i get into a room where we'll be for the next 24 hours waiting for her (all while my mom and matt torture me by eating in N out and jacks while i nibble on sugar free jello and cranberry juice). no big contractions come by that night so they induce me. next morning..still nothing. i'm thinking at this point, why did she break my water if she still wants to chill in there for a bit? well, answer is on its way. at about 10am, after a long night sleeping in hospital chairs, matt decides to go home, get jake and bring him back to see me. when jake comes, i can't hold my emotions. all of a sudden, i'm not wanting him to share the limelight and i'm feeling like i wasn't ready for my "just me and him" time to be up. i was completely irrational and hysterical. my poor son just wanted some of my cranberry juice and to play with the hospital bed buttons.
so in "what happens to type a people when they try to control things" fashion, matt goes to take jake home and he's not gone but 30 minutes and i start bleeding...badly! dr. is called, he checks me and in his cool as a cucumber voice, he says to the nurse, "i don't like this". um, excuse me, what did you say? hey, i'm over here...what was that? he comes to my bedside, holds my hand and gently says, "we need to do a c-section...(pause) and we need to do it now." um...my mind is reeling, i'm panicking, my mom is crying and MATT IS GONE! WTH?!?! dr. doesn't wait for my response and calls over the intercom, "CODE GREEN". The next 5 minutes is something out of an ER reality show and i feel like i'm watching it happen to me from across the room. 6-7 nurses rush in and the rest is a blur. "take your jewelry off", "put this cap on", "sign her", "drink this" "call down to the blood bank for her blood type". they're talking amongst each other in a hurried tone and i'm freaking the FU@K out. i look at my mom who's frantically calling matt to rush back to the hospital all while trying to stay calm for me but i see the tears in her eyes. this isn't what she wanted for me..for sophie. this is a far cry from jake's smooth birth where we were all laughing and telling jokes for 12 hours in between contractions.
within 5 minutes, they're wheeling me to the OR by myself. my mom stayed behind to wait for matt and i'm scared as hell that he's not going to make it in time. i remember crying and telling the nurses as we're rolling down the hallway "please don't let me die, i have a 2 year old at home who needs me" (cue dramatics).
the next thing i know, i'm drugged up, feeling like i'm going in and out of consciousness and matt rushes through the doors and gasps. ya see...they had already cut me open and the partition they put up so i can't see, was on the opposite side of where he came in. sorry babe. he's still a bit traumatized by my intestines on the table. for as emotionally strong as matt is, the look that i saw in his eyes when i was going in and out, told me more than any "i love yous" he's ever uttered. he was genuinely scared that he was going to lose me. he kept tapping me to make sure i stayed with him all while trying to feel the joy of what was about to happen. he's holding my hand while he watches them try to get her out (the partition that's successfully blocking my view was a little short for a 6'5" Samoan). i feel the tugging and pulling.
i'm trying to stay with it.
finally, we hear the cry. she's here.
